The Schemes of Harry and Ron
by Sela McGrane
Summary: Harry and Ron notice that Hermione and her favorite Professor, McGonagall, are suddenly not getting along. Worried about the anger and depression their friend seems to be dealing with, the scheme up a way for the two women to sort things out.


**Hello all – sorry I've been missing in action. There is a lot going on in my little world at the moment. That said, I humbly offer this oneshot, of the non-angsty (mostly) variety. Seriously, this is not serious at all. It's actually quite funny. And fluffy. And… well, I shant give spoilers. Enjoy!**

* * *

Harry Potter knew that without his brainy best friend, Hermione Granger, he and his other best friend Ron Weasley were prone to have their schemes fail in some spectacular way, but this time, he was certain it was going to work. It had to. Hermione certainly wouldn't approve of what they were up to, but both boys were certain she'd thank them later. That is, assuming a certain Transfiguration Professor didn't kill them first. As far as grand failures went, that would certainly top everything. Of course, if they were right – and they were sure they were – then Professor McGonagall would thank them too, in the end.

"You're sure this is going to work, mate?" Ron asked for the tenth time. It had been _his_ bloody idea to lock Hermione and McGonagall in a room together so they could sort things out. Harry had suggested using the Room of Requirement, as both women were powerful witches, and any other room, the boys agreed, they would find a way out of.

"It'll work," Harry assured his red-haired companion. "We've got the charm down, haven't we?"

The plan was simple, really. Harry would ask the Room of Requirement to appear as the door to wherever both Hermione and McGonagall wanted to be, and when they entered, they would be unable to leave until they'd resolved their differences.

For some reason neither of the young men had figured out, the two witches had gone from being thicker than thieves in the trio's sixth year, to looking like they wanted to hex one another all the bloody time now that the war was over and they'd all returned to finish their seventh year. It made no sense. Anyway, in addition to being locked in the Room of Requirement together, Harry and Ron would also be remaining there, hidden, and casting calming charms on each of the women, as needed. If the two of them could just keep their tempers in check for a little while, perhaps they could work things out.

If it had just been animosity between the two, Harry and Ron wouldn't have cared much. Really, after all Harry had put up with Defense Professors and Snape, being at odds with a Professor was almost par for the course with the trio. But Hermione and McGonagall were different. They got along so well before, and now, they acted as if they had been rivals for years. To top off the anger Hermione showed toward McGonagall in public, the boys had watched their friend sink into a deep depression that neither were daft enough to think had anything to do with anyone else. Hermione had gone from happy to have survived the war, to angry and sad the minute McGonagall had started treating her like a dung beetle.

"All right then," Ron said, checking the time. "Let's do it."

Harry and Ron had agreed that they would wait until a Friday after classes to trap their friend and the Headmistress. It would not do them any favors if their scheme interrupted either woman's class schedules to do this. Neither of them had anything to do between now and Monday morning that couldn't wait. The boys were resolved to keep them in here all weekend if that's what it took. Ron had smartly suggested that Harry make the Room include a kitchen, so if they were stuck here all weekend, they wouldn't starve to death. Leave it to Ron to remember food.

After taking a deep breath and praying to whoever was listening that they were doing the right thing, Harry began to issue his requests to the Room of Requirement; a room with a place to sit comfortably, with a kitchen, a fireplace to keep them warm in the cold February weather, where both Hermione Granger and Minerva McGonagall would be drawn via thinking a door would lead them where they wanted to go, and a place where Ron and himself could comfortably hide but still be able to cast spells at their friend and Professor.

"It's done," Harry said after a few minutes, reaching for a newly formed door they had knew would fade into the wall as soon as they stepped inside. "Let's get in and hide before the two of them show up."

Ron nodded, and followed Harry into the room. "Blimey," he uttered, taking the scene in.

The Room appeared not unlike the Gryffindor Common Room, though there were no stairs to lead to the dorms, and the ceiling was not nearly as high. In one corner, there was a roaring fire, beside which were two loveseats, mahogany end tables on either end of each of them. The floor was stone, like the rest of the castle floors, though the area in front of the fire was covered with a large, plush carpet. It was deep red with gold spirals along the border. The second corner housed a good sized kitchenette, which Harry knew Ron was resisting the urge to inspect. The back wall appeared to be mostly empty, but Harry quickly noticed a door, and rushed over to inspect it.

As he suspected, it led to their hide-away. While the wall appeared to be stone from the outside, now that they were on the other side, it appeared to be a one way mirror. "I love magic," Harry said, grinning. "I reckon 'Mione and the Professor won't be able to see the door that comes in here."

"Hope so," Ron said, munching on a roll he'd grabbed off of a table in their little hide-out; Harry then noticed that they too, had a kitchenette. "Can we cast the charm through the window, or are we gunna have to use the door?"

"Dunno," Harry replied. "I'll give it a try."

He pointed his wand toward one of the end tables, and uttered a levitation charm. At once, the table lifted into the air, and then back down again gently as Harry directed.

"Bloody awesome," Ron said. "This place sound proof too?"

"You go outside and let's test it," Harry suggested. "We'll both say something loudly, then you come back in and we'll know."

Ron nodded, then hustled out the door. "CAN YOU HEAR ME?" he shouted as Harry watched him through the window.

"I SHAGGED GINNY!" Harry shouted, only semi worried of Ron's reaction if he _had_ heard. Ron knew his little sister and best mate were dating, but it was only assumed what the couple may or may not be doing when they found a moment of privacy.

Ron came back in a few seconds later, looking pleased. "I didn't hear anything, assuming you said something."

"I shouted, so I guess we're in the clear," Harry said, grinning. "I could hear you though, so looks like we're gunna find out what's up with 'Mione and McGonagall."

As if on cue, Harry and Ron heard a creaking out in the other room, and their eyes followed the sound to a newly formed door, through which Professor McGonagall was currently entering. She appeared confused at first, and then turned around, obviously intent on exiting. Only, the door she'd come in was no longer there. When she turned back around and the boys could see her face again, her expression had morphed into annoyed. "At least she's not mad yet," Ron whispered.

Another creak sounded, and in though another door strode Hermione, looking miffed about something. "What the…" she said, realizing she was somewhere she had no expected to be. Then she noticed McGonagall, and with a huff, turned around, obviously intent on fleeing. Except, like McGonagall had found when she'd entered, the door Hermione had come in through was no longer there. "The Room of Requirement," the younger witch concluded verbally.

"She's really bloody smart," Ron said to his partner in crime. "Took her what? Five seconds to figure out where she was?"

Harry nodded, carefully watching their two captives.

"Did you do this?" Hermione asked, turning to the only companion she was aware of.

"I most certainly did not," came the firm, Scottish tone from McGonagall's pursed lips.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Hermione suddenly shouted. "YOU AND RON BETTER LET US OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Both boys jumped, but were resolved that they were doing their friend a favor, and stood their ground. "Really smart…" Harry muttered. He'd kind of been hoping Hermione would take longer to figure out who had set this up.

"You believe Misters Potter and Weasley arranged this… trap?" McGonagall asked after a few moments of silence in which the boys had not answered Hermione's call.

"Well, even they are not so daft as to not put together my foul mood of late is _your_ fault," Hermione hissed at her Professor, showing uncharacteristic disrespect.

"Mind your tone, Miss Granger," McGonagall said softly, almost as if she didn't mean it.

"If I'd talked back to her like that, she'd have riddled me with holes!" Ron gasped.

"No kidding," Harry agreed.

Hermione made her way over to the sitting area, shoving past McGonagall in the process. She dropped her bag on the floor and then flopped onto the sofa with a sigh. "Might as well get comfortable, Minerva," she said, eyeing her companion. "If I know Harry and Ron, and I do, then they've asked the Room to keep us here until we resolve our differences."

"Then I guess we're going to be here forever," McGonagall snapped. Regardless of her objection, the older witch followed suit and took a seat on the other loveseat. "As that is an impossible task. And what did I tell you about calling me that?"

"Before or after we shagged?" Hermione asked cheekily.

Harry and Ron's jaws simultaneously fell.

"AFTER THEY WHAT?" Ron shouted.

"Ho…ly…shit…" Harry gaped.

McGonagall groaned. "Hermione…"

"If you are about to give me the list of reasons we can't be together again, don't bother," Hermione huffed. "I remember."

"That night was a mistake," McGonagall said weakly. "We shouldn't have… you're my _bloody_ student!"

"You and I both know the only reason I came back to Hogwarts was for you," Hermione said. "I could have tested for my NEWTS at the Ministry, and not bothered. The only reason I'm _still_ here is because I don't want anyone ask why I'd drop out half way through the year. Not that you care…"

"I do care," McGonagall objected. "You know I do. But even if you did test out, if we started seeing each other, everyone would assume we'd gotten involved while you were still a student in my care,

and they'd be _right_."

"So what?" Hermione asked. "It's not like they could prove anything."

"It would be a scandal nonetheless," McGonagall countered.

"And?" the younger woman asked pointedly. "You managed when everyone thought you and Albus were together."

"Albus was my boss, not my student."

"Still ethically questionable," Hermione pushed.

"Only to a point."

The two continued to argue. Harry and Ron stared at each other blankly for a minute before the red-haired boy broke the ice. "Now what?" he asked.

"I know it's weird, but I don't think this changes anything," Harry said after a minute of thinking. "I mean, I get McGonagall's concerns, but I also see Hermione's point of view. Our goal here was to make them work things out, so Hermione would be happy again. If being with McGonagall makes her happy, well…"

"Bloody hell…" Ron muttered, looking ill.

"What would your friends think?" they heard McGonagall snap, getting their attention.

Both boys watched Hermione's face, and were surprised to see her hesitate. Was she worried they wouldn't support her?

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Ron groaned as the silence continued between the two women on the other side of the wall, "but I have an idea…"

Ron related his plan to show Hermione that he and Harry would support her if she wanted to be with McGonagall. Harry grinned, and then squinted in concentration. A moment later, a kind sized four-poster bed appeared where the loveseats had just been, tossing both women up in the air and then unceremoniously down onto the soft mattress together. Both boys watched for Hermione's reaction.

She was grinning. "I guess they approve," she whispered, reaching out and touching a stunned McGonagall's cheek.

"Hermione, are you _certain_?" the older witch asked tenderly, returning the gesture. "If we start this, if it gets out… it cannot be undone. I don't want you to resent me for any negative impact this could

have on your life. I couldn't bare it…"

"I love you, Minerva," Hermione said. "I could never resent you for allowing me to act on that feeling."

The older witch took a deep breath, and then nodded. "Okay. Were it anyone else, Hermione, I would not take the risk, but Merlin forgive me, but you're _you._ The woman I love."

"Aww…" Harry said, causing Ron to roll his eyes.

The two woman kissed deeply, a sealing of their new understanding.

"Eww…" Ron groaned. "Get a room!"

"They have a room, Ron," Harry pointed out.

The Room in question, it appeared, agreed with Ron however. A door suddenly appeared on one of the walls, offering exit should any of its occupants wish it.

"Considering your friends are obviously watching us," McGonagall said, noting the change, "would you care to continue this conversation in my quarters?"

Hermione smirked. "Anything we talk about, you know I'm going to tell them anyway," she said.

"Ah, yes," McGonagall nodded. "I assumed as much, given their show of support, but as I'd like to shag you senseless, I thought perhaps you'd prefer to do that somewhere they are not."

The younger woman's eyes lit up. "Well in that case…" she said, bounding off the bed. "Let's go!"

McGonagall moved off the bed, graceful as a cat, and made her way to the exit, Hermione following closely behind. Before Hermione closed the door behind them, she took one last look at the room, eyes eventually resting on the back wall behind which her friends were still hiding. "Thank you, boys," she said softly. Then, she was gone.

"Told you she'd thank us," Harry said, grinning ear to ear.

"Yeah, yeah," Ron muttered, looking mildly annoyed. "I'm just not sure if _I'm_ thanking us. I am never going to get the image of them snogging out of my head!"

Harry looked at his friend, amused. "Hey Ron?" he said, nodding for his companion to follow him out of their hiding place.

"Yeah?" Ron said, looking dejected.

"I'm shagging Ginny," his friend said, knowing that fact was bound to take Ron's mind off of Hermione and the Professor. "Thought you ought to know."

"Oi!" Ron yelped.

* * *

 **PLEASE REVIEW!**


End file.
